3 Minute Monday – Insults, Rough Sex & Questions

3 Minute Monday

Hi friend,

I just got back from another huge Modern Wisdom Cinema production in LA.

This time it was a 3+ hour conversation with the neuroscientist and moral philosopher Sam Harris.

Sam was one of the biggest influences on my thinking in my 20’s and part of the inspiration for starting Modern Wisdom 6 years ago.

We talk about absolutely everything including how to overcome depression, where to find fulfilment, dealing with suffering, whether we’ll survive the next 100 years, RFK Jr, Wokeness, Identity Politics, Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate, Islam, audience capture, Douglas Murray, Andrew Huberman, social media, Christopher Hitchens, stoicism and so much more.

Full length episode goes live Monday 31st!

One of my favourite insights was a quote about why our minds so often seem to be at-odds with us.

“Living an examined life is just one insult after another, you have to maintain a sense of humour.

Your mind has absolutely no shame, it will think anything.

The person you meet when you look in the mirror is not one person.

It’s a congress of selves, and many of them are total assholes.

And ultimately you can’t take it personally, you didn’t create yourself, or your culture, or your consciousness.

You find yourself here in this circumstance, and the question is; what can you do next; what is possible given the kind of mind you have?

Morally, psychologically and existentially we have a navigation problem, and there are tools we can put in-hand to be a much wiser and happier pilot.”

This describes a kind of internal Multiple Personality Disorder which we all feel.

A selection of Avengers assemble inside of us, except more than 50% of them are villains.

The best versions of us so often seem to be drowned out by the judgemental, harsh, emotional, juvenile voices which cause us to behave and think in a way that aren’t in our interests.

Your moment to moment experience of the world is largely determined by the story you tell yourself about it.

And if our narrator happens to be a total dick most of the time, is it any surprise that we struggle to find happiness?

Sam summarised it nicely…

“Wisdom is a matter of making your mind your friend.”

Honestly, how can any of us truly say we are wise if our mind is out of control?

If you’re so smart, and so wise, then why aren’t you happy?


I do a podcast which has had 230 million+ downloads. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

This week’s upcoming episodes:

George TheTinMen – one of my favourite Instagram account creators gives a great breakdown of modern men’s issues. Why have the Left have abandoned talking to men? what people don’t understand about the gender pay gap? Phenomenal episode.

Rob Brooks – Artificial Intimacy is here. From chatbot girlfriends to AI sex toys. But what are the risks when your supermarket trolley’s algorithm knows what your dildo has been up to this week?

Peter Akkies – one of the best productivity coaches I’ve come across breaks down his principles and tools for goal setting, motivation, focus and more.


Rough sex is on the rise.

A recent survey of 4998 students showed that:

35.5% of heterosexual women reported initiating rough sex.

83.8% of men & 85.0% women reported liking it.

Less than 2% who engaged in rough sex reported not liking it at all.

The most common behaviours participants considered to be rough sex were; choking, hair pulling, and spanking.

Transgender and gender non-binary students more often endorsed behaviours as rough sex.

Bisexual women reported greater rough sex frequency and enjoyment – 54.1% indicated enjoying it “very much”. — h/t William Costello

You need other people.

“Addiction is the illusion that you can find fulfilment alone.” — Janusz Welin

A list of difficult questions from Morgan Housel.

Whose life do I admire that is secretly miserable?

What do I believe is true only because believing it puts me in good standing with my tribe?

Which of my current values would be different if I were raised by different parents?

What do I believe the most with the least amount of evidence of it being true?

Who has the right answer but I ignore because they’re a bad communicator?

Who is full of it but I pay attention to because they’re a good communicator?

What do I think is ambition (a good trait) but is actually envy (a terrible one)?

What annoys me about other people that I sometimes do myself?

How much of my nostalgia is a false or incomplete memory of the past?

What in your profession is impossible to know no matter how smart you become? David Deutsch said, “Beware of the difference between prediction and prophecy. Prophecy purports to know things which cannot be known.”

Is this thing I’m worried about actually a problem, or am I looking for problems to worry about because they make me feel in control?

What in my field do I think is a law (works all the time) but is actually just a rule (works some of the time)?

What do I think is a universal truth but is actually just a norm unique to my own culture?

What was true a generation ago that no longer is, and who is clinging to that old truth?

What is partially true but I believe in it so absolutely, and take it so seriously, that I’ve turned it into a dangerous belief?

Are there things going well in my life today that I will look back on and wish I had quit while I was ahead?

Is there something in my life I think I’m “passionate” about or “focused” on but I’m actually just addicted to it?

Do I spend more time defending what I already know instead of trying to learn something new?

Are there people in my life who I consider kind and compassionate but they’re actually just too shy to tell me hard truths?

What would Instagram look like if it were an honest reflection of people’s life, instead of a curated highlight reel?

Am I being as nice as I could be, rather than just as nice as I need to be?


Roka Glasses.

Earlier this year I found out I needed glasses.

Later this year I’m getting LASIK.

In the interim I’ve found Roka prescription glasses and they have some magic rubber technology that means they never ever slip down your face which is kind of a miracle.

Managed to crush full games of sweaty pickleball in them perfectly fine.

Not affiliated, just highly recommended.

Big love,
Chris x

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Another Modern Wisdom Cinema episode is getting recorded 2 weeks on Thursday in Vegas…


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