3 Minute Monday – Presence, Stupidity and Sex

3 Minute Monday

Hi friend,

This week kicks off probably the wildest month of big names on Modern Wisdom that I’ve ever had.

Starting with standup comedian and Protect Our Parks member Mark Normand in Austin on Tuesday.

Then Derek from More Plates More Dates in Austin this Saturday.

Les gohhhhhhh.

I saw a great quote this week:

“When I’m 50, I’d trade everything I own to be 33 – my current age – again…

Which makes right now > all wealth I’d ever accumulate.

‘You’d give it all to live today again.’” — Alex Hormozi

That’s a heavy realisation.

We trade the thing we want (time) for the thing which is supposed to get it (money).

We give up time to make money so that we can finally have more time when we have enough money.

We give up happiness to achieve success so that we can have more happiness when we achieve enough success.

There’s a concept called “Nexting” which I was recently introduced to and it was perfectly summed up by Sam Harris 10 years before it was given a name:

“As a matter of conscious experience, the reality of your life is always now.

And I think that this is a liberating truth about the nature of the human mind.

In fact, I think, there’s probably nothing more important to understand about your mind, than that, if you want to be happy in this world.

The past is a memory; it’s a thought arising in the present.

The future is merely anticipated; it is another thought arising now.

What we truly have is this moment.

And this.

And we spend most of our lives forgetting this truth, refuting it, fleeing it, overlooking it.

And the horror is that we succeed.

We manage to never really connect with the present moment and find fulfilment there, because we are continually hoping to become happy in the future.

And the future never arrives.

It is always now.

However much you feel you need to plan for the future, to anticipate it, to mitigate risks, the reality of your life is now.

Even when we think we’re in the present moment, we’re, in very subtle ways, always looking over its shoulder, anticipating what’s coming next.

We’re always solving a problem.

And it’s possible to simply drop your problem, if only for a moment.

And enjoy whatever is true of your life in the present.”

Many, maybe all, of the things we do, are an attempt to give ourselves a good enough reason to just be here, existing in the present moment.

Being choked during sex stops the chatter of our mind, as does drugs, as does alcohol, and fighting, and reading, and dancing on a beach to a DJ as the sun sets.

Our goal as awakened humans should be to lower the height of the bar of stimulus to a level where you can be present without having any of these inputs.

“If you can’t be present with a coffee, you won’t be present on a yacht.”

Think about how many times your presence has been hijacked by fears or worries or hopes for problems of the future, or regrets & victories around problems of the past.

As you flee from boredom before it even rears its head with a screen in your pocket.

We are so averse to time without distraction that we’ve become addicted to solving problems, so much so that we create problems purely for the purposes of solving them.

What we truly have is this moment.


I do a podcast which has had 80 million+ downloads. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

This week’s upcoming episodes:

Tim Urban – one of the most famous writers on the internet talks about minimising regrets, choosing the right partner, beating procrastination and Elon’s Twitter takeover.

David Puts – what use is the female orgasm? Why does it even exist when it’s not needed to get pregnant? How did male-male aggression shape mate choice and men’s bodies? Really good.

Max Lugavere – why is the nutrition industry such a mess? Is carnivore superior to veganism? What foods should we actually avoid? What’s the problem with seed oils?


Women set the standards for sex, men meet them.

If in order to obtain sex, men must marry a women, or become pillars of the community, or lie, or amass riches, or be romantic or funny, then they will do precisely that.

If men need to simply be in the right place at the right time at 3am in a nightclub, then they will meet these standards appropriately.

Bonhoeffer’s Theory of Stupidity.

“Evil can be guarded against.

Stupidity cannot.

And the world’s few evil people have little power without the help of the world’s many stupid people.

As a result, stupidity is a far greater threat than evil.” — Gurwinder Bhogal

You’re living in the most flourishing time in history.

“Why do people who struggle to thrive in modern society think they would have done better in someplace like classical Greece or 9th century Scandinavia?

Even assuming an equal probability of landing in any station, likelihood is you would be at the bottom of society.” — @datepsych


Always overbuy phone contracts.

I’ve been ruined by not doing this in the past.

Even a single month of going over your allowance on phone usage will probably negate the savings you made by choosing a £5-£10 per month cheaper contract.

If you’re in the middle of your contract, you can often call your network for add-ons like international calling, international data and unlimited data usage.

These are so cheap now that it’s worth getting them even if you’ll only use them infrequently.

Big love,
Chris x

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