3 Minute Monday
Douglas Murray is on the show today.
Listen now on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
He told me about a story from Philip Larkin the English poet and novelist.
Larkin said:“I felt like I’d been shunted to the side of my own life”.
Oftentimes there’s a thing we must do, something we’re called or compelled to do, and yet that we can ignore this sense and proceed in a different direction.
Not take the risk.
Not try the thing or make the change.
This is how we shunt ourselves to the side of our own lives.
By ignoring the things we feel called to do in place of things our fears rationalise that we should do instead.
We can protect ourselves from failing publicly by ensuring that we fail privately.
Even though it doesn’t seem it in the face of a big scary decision, the pain of regret hurts much worse than the pain of failure.
Get out of your own way.
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This week’s upcoming episodes:
Douglas Murray – the West been convinced to hate itself, modern day slavery is bigger than ever in history and Dumbledore can’t be gay in China. Big episode.
Matthew Fray – a hopeful, compassionate view of saving relationships from a relationship coach and ex-divorcee whose wife left him because he left glasses by the sink.
Not sure yet, maybe Knees Over Toes Guy on how to bulletproof your body.
THINGS I’VE LEARNED
Men Are More Unhappy Without Sex
A study examined the extent to which Norwegians are satisfied with their singlehood, and to determine the association between being single and sexual activity.
A majority of single respondents reported being satisfied with being single.
A higher percentage of gay, bisexual, and transmen than heterosexual men was satisfied with being single.
LGBT+ men may be able to obtain male sexual partners more readily than heterosexual men can female sexual partners, in part because of men’s greater interest in casual sex.
A higher percentage of women than men, and more women aged 60 years or older than women under the age of 60, were satisfied with being single.
Heterosexual women with no sexual activity in the past 12 months were more satisfied with being single than women who had been sexually active.
Heterosexual women who were least satisfied were those who had masturbated and had sexual intercourse.
This implies that women without access to a committed partner may “turn off their sex drive altogether, and not longing for something they do not have.
The men who were most satisfied with being single were those who had masturbated and/or had sexual intercourse, and least satisfied were those with no sexual activity, or exclusively masturbation activity.
— Rolf Degen
Wanting vs Happiness.
“Wanting stuff makes you successful.
Not wanting stuff makes you happy.
Realising wanting or not wanting is irrelevant makes you free.”
— Alex Hormozi
The Messiah Effect.
“Most people don’t believe in ideals, but in people who believe in ideals.
Hence why successful religions tend to have human prophets or messiahs, and why when a demagogue changes his beliefs, the beliefs of his followers often change accordingly.”
— Gurwinder Bhogal
1 Minute Of Gratitude.
A good reversal to anxious, overbearing, frantic thoughts is to spend 1 minute listing in your head all the things you can be thankful for right now.
Just focus on anything that comes into consciousness that is good.
What is better than it could be, what has gone well, what are you proud of or happy about?
This pattern-interrupt is great for stopping thought loops.
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