3 Minute Monday
The term “self conscious” is interesting.
People associate it with feelings of shyness, introversion and anxiety.
But oddly, “self conscious” doesn’t actually have that much to do with the Self.
What people actually mean when they say “I am self conscious” is – “I am conscious of other people being conscious of me”.
Although it’s understandable, and we all have felt it, this is actually coming from a misdirected, narrow worldview.
The presumption is that other people notice as much of what you’re doing, as you do.
We’re terrified that our colleague saw the awkward way we always stand when we’re giving a presentation, or that the lady across the street realised we were picking our nose this morning, or that our friend noticed that we’ve gained weight.
We fear not only that they noticed, but that they remember.
Not only that they remember, but they care.
And not only that they care, but that the caring influences their opinion of us.
I see two very easy, obvious antidotes to this spiral of concern.
The antidote to being worried about other people’s attention on us is perfectly summarised by a quote from my friend’s grandmother:
“We would care far less about what other people thought of us, if we realised just how rarely they did.”
This is the most socially liberating realisation I think there is to make.
No body is watching you.
Like, essentially ever.
In the modern world, the vast majority of people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they have absolutely no time to pay attention to yours.
Try and think back to the last time you saw someone fumble their words in a group conversation and blush with embarrassment, or trip over a curb because they weren’t paying attention, or spill their drink down themselves because they were nervous?
Really, try and do it.
Pretty tough eyh.
If you can’t think of an example for others, the likelihood is that neither can they about you.
The opinions we have of other people is formed across millions of tiny compounding perceptions.
It’s actually super rare that a huge, singular event is formative in our opinion of someone.
Our impressions of others is built or destroyed brick by brick, not with a wrecking ball.
So Release The Tiller.
I’m not an advocate of being at the mercy of our programming for your broad life direction.
But grace and ease in the moment comes from switching the brain off rather than making it overthink.
The people around you aren’t watching what you’re doing.
And even if they are, they’re not changing their opinion of you because of it.
I do a podcast which has had 20 million+ downloads. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
This week’s upcoming episodes:
Dr David Sinclair – the world’s #1 longevity doctor returns to talk living longer through diet, training, sleep, supplements and dogs.
Luke Burgis – Mimetic Desire is one of the coolest theories I’ve learned about. Discover why your wants aren’t yours, and learn to identify when you’ve been mimetically hijacked.
No episode. I’m in IBIZA BABY.
THINGS I’VE LEARNED
We nearly destroyed ourselves, again.
The decision to use cfcs (chlorofluorocarbons) instead of bfcs (bromofluorocarbons) was pretty much arbitrary.
Had we decided to use BFCs, the ozone layer probably would have been totally destroyed before we even knew what was happening, killing all life.
BFCs destroy the ozone at over 100x the rate of cfc’s.
Maybe that is the great filter – that all other civilisations just chose the wrong coolant medium.
(big love to Ben Harrison for sending this in)
The most diplomatic owning I’ve ever seen.
A discussion was unfolding on Rob Henderson’s Twitter between two guys debating the truthfulness of a study, one of them responded with the following:“What you are saying is ‘I trust science whenever it confirms what I already know in my heart and I freely dismiss it when it fails to’ People of your disposition are incapable of understanding this epistemology. It is beyond you.”
It. Is. Beyond. You.
Ded. Fully ded.
“We only see the results of success, never what it took to get there.”
Use Pyrex Glass Tupperware.
You should not be putting hot food in plastic.
You should not be reheating food in plastic.
Even the Tupperware which says it has no BPAs in isn’t good for you.
Plastic containers are leaking all kinds of bad things into your food and rekking your endocrine system.
Glass Pyrex Tupperware should be the only type allowed on the market.
It’s a one time purchase with many years of downstream benefits.
It’s a no-brainer to switch out your current food-storage to this.
Cleaner, nicer storage with no plastics where the food touches.
And your endocrine system will thank you literally for the rest of your life.
Shop on Amazon. (I got the 24x18x6cm size, pretty perfect for a good sized meal)
Listen to me on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Say hi on Twitter or Instagram.
I’m always on the lookout for fascinating articles or cool statistics like the one about BFCs. If you see anything good on the internet – feel free to send it to me – I’ll probably shamelessly use it in an episode.