3 Minute Monday
My episode with Jimmy Carr goes live today.
He did Joe’s show on Friday and brought up an idea we’ve both been discussing for a while now.
One of the best questions to ask yourself when faced with a decision is “what would you tomorrow want you today to do?”
This has been something I’ve relied on for years to help give me perspective and make better choices.
It rips you out of the moment.
It stops you from relying so heavily on the confused chemical signals coming from your body and instead gives you a bit more distance.
It depersonalises the decision and helps you to treat yourself like a friend you’re responsible for helping.
It forces you to optimise for long-term thinking rather than immediate gratification.
It reminds you that ultimately decisions aren’t being made for you now, they’re being made for you in 24 hours, and 24 days, and 24 months.
Our decisions are investments we make into our future, and the more ruminative and deep of a thinker you are, the more you need to make decisions for your future self, not yourself now.
Optimising to gratify your desires in the moment at the expense of the way you feel and the story you tell yourself about yourself in the future is rarely a good deal.
You live with the story of your decisions for far longer than the impact of them.
We don’t have crystal balls to see the future, but this is about as close of a tool to clairvoyance as I can think of.
In fact, I can’t think of a single decision which would be worse if I actually did what I wished I’d done 24 hours later.
So yeah, try to be kind to your 24-hour-you, they’re ultimately the one who has to deal with whatever you do today.
This week’s upcoming episodes:
Jimmy Carr – one of the world’s most legendary comedians and an incredibly deep thinker on his psychological insights, tools and frameworks for better understanding yourself.
Connor Beaton – Founder of ManTalks and Men’s Work coach on how men should learn to integrate their emotions. Can you be vulnerable without being weak? What do more men wish the world knew about them? So so good.
Robert Sapolsky – perhaps the most famous Evolutionary Biologist in the world on happiness, hormones, free will, determinism and tons more. This week is stacked, don’t miss these ones.
THINGS I’VE LEARNED
5 questions to ask yourself if you’re unsure about your relationship.
If someone told you you’re a lot like your partner, would this be a compliment to you?
Are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely?
Are you able to be unapologetically yourself or do you feel the need to show up differently to please your partner?
Are you in love with who your partner is right now as a whole, or are you only in love with their good side, their potential, or the idea of them?
Would you want your future/imagined child to date someone like your partner? — h/t Reddit
The Cinderella Effect.
Children living with one genetic parent and one stepparent are approximately 40 times more likely to be abused than children living with both genetic parents.
This greater rate occurs even when controlling for poverty and socioeconomic status. — h/t Rob Henderson
Why it’s so hard to disprove conspiracy theories.
“The thing with conspiracy theories is that they’re antifragile.
Attacks on the theory becomes evidence of the theory.
This also applies to the theoriser; attacks on them become evidence that they’re right.” — Gurwinder Bhogal
You don’t want bigger arms, you want bigger shoulders.
Most guys think that big arms is a good look.
But only if you have big shoulders.
Big biceps & triceps without in-kind sized delts makes you look unathletic and kind of fat.
Big delts, regardless of the size of your biceps & triceps, will make you look wide, athletic and powerful.
Plus, the process of growing your shoulders will grow your arms anyway.
Tell your friends they should read this Newsletter.
I’m in LA again this weekend recording some MONSTER episodes. No brakes on this train.