3 MINUTE MONDAY
Hi friend,
Did you know that if you have a dog, the chance of you ensuring that they complete their course of antibiotics is over 90%?
However the likelihood of you completing your own course is less than 50%.
This disparity identifies something about our nature.
It is much easier to look after someone else than it is to look after ourselves.
This manifests in our self talk too.
The constant inner monologue we have running can be our harshest critic.
It knows exactly the pain points, insecurities and deepest fears to twist the knife into.
In fact, if it was anyone else saying the things we sometimes tell ourselves, they would be our worst enemy.“I wouldn’t talk to a friend the way I talk to myself” -Slaves – Talk To A Friend
In an aircraft malfunction, you are told to put your own mask on first.
Why?
Because somebody who is suffocating is of little use to everyone else.
The same applies here.
If you cannot give yourself the same self love and encouragement which you give to others, you will suffocate and be of less and less use to those who need you most.
There’s no one who you’ll spend as much time talking to as yourself.
That inner monologue which is running inside your head will not stop.
So you’d better become friends with it.“Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping” – Dr Jordan B Peterson
I love this maxim from JBP.
The balance of compassion, care & encouragement he’s talking about here IS the sweet spot.
You want the absolute best for the person you are helping.
But you don’t get them there by abusing them.
How many times have you been asked a question by a friend, to which you have given an answer that you yourself would wholly benefit from hearing?
You deliver it with a soft, caring smile which accepts your friend’s failures whilst providing them with a pathway to improvement and an encouraging push to get them going.
However when you are faced with the same problem yourself, you’re met with nothing but a thought loop of self-loathing, pity and scorn at your own shortcomings.
A reminder of how far away from your potential you are and a harsh kick in the dick on the way out of the door.
The point here is that the line between being tough enough to motivate and gentle enough to be understanding is wider than you think.
You can afford to give yourself a break.
If you demand the best of yourself, this should include being the best at self-encouragement when you need it.
MODERN WISDOM
I do a podcast which has had 5 million+ downloads and we’re back to 3 episodes a week baby. You should subscribe on Apple podcasts or Spotify.
This week’s upcoming episodes:
Monday.
Douglas Murray – social justice, BLM, looting, JK Rowling and more. In a year where crowd derangement has been at an all time high, we need Douglas to cut through the BS. Without a doubt one of my favourite episodes from 2020.
Thursday.
Steven Pressfield – multi-million best selling author of The War Of Art & Turning Pro explains how to turn the corner in your life from being an amateur to living your true potential.
Saturday.
Justin Tosi – the use & abuse of moral talk to make yourself look good is like 2020’s cheap aftershave. Just pervading everything we do and getting on our nerves. Philosophy Professor Justin breaks down why this is happening.
THINGS I’VE LEARNED
1.
Action is the antidote to anxiety.
You’re not worried about the future when you’re propelling yourself toward it.
(Share this on Twitter)
2.
If you’re struggling to find your passion in life – look at what you did as a child.
Tons of people I know have found a calling in life that is super similar to something they spent their time doing between ages 8 and 16.
Perfect example – I used to constantly listen to audiobooks on tape throughout my childhood.
Every month I’d take the tapes back to the library with my mum and pick up new ones.
20 years later, how am I spending my energy & what is the modern day version of an audio tape?
Podcasting.
One of the best known colour pickers was once asked why she was so good at her job.
The biggest companies on earth go to her to find the perfect palette combination for adverts, clothing, decor, everything.
The interviewer questioned what made her so passionate about colour.
Had she done any formal education? Did her parents encourage her to pursue it as a job?
The lady replied that she hadn’t done anything formal, ever.
But for her 8th birthday her parents bought her the biggest Crayola set of pencils available and she obsessed over them for years.
Today she’s just a grown up version of that little girl, still playing with pencils.
Restarting a passion from childhood is a gift from your Past Self, to your Present Self.
Just don’t snap an achilles while doing it.
3.
Confucius understood the power of a consciously designed life in 500 BC…
“In the early stages of training, an aspiring Confucian gentleman needs to memorise entire shelves of archaic texts, learn the precise angle at which to bow, and learn the lengths of the steps with which he is to enter a room.
His sitting mat must always be perfectly straight.
All of this rigour and restraint, however, is ultimately aimed at producing a cultivated, but nonetheless genuine, form of spontaneity.
Indeed, the process of training is not considered complete until the individual has passed completely beyond the need for thought or effort.”
LIFE HACK
Tell your friends when you miss them.
We think about our friends far more than they know we do.
This year more than ever, we need to feel connected, wanted and like we belong.
Drill an automated response that when you think of someone you message them and tell them.
You brighten their day, deepen your relationships and make yourself feel good in the process.
I’ve been doing this for about 2 years and it’s made a hugely positive impact on my friendships.
Big love,
Chris x
Listen to me on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Say hi on Twitter or Instagram.
PS
Fear City: New York vs The Mafia is unreal on Netflix. Thank me later.
