3 Minute Monday – Results, Breakups & Dysmorphia

3 Minute Monday

Hello cult members,

I’m flying to Texas tomorrow.

10tb of hard drive storage and Video Guy Dean are packed and ready to go.

Looking forward to catching up with Jordan and getting this episode recorded.

There’s a LOT of moving parts and camera operators flying in from all over the US to man this shoot, it feels pretty exciting.

Definitely the biggest project we’ve done so far.

Big up to everyone sending in the love and support.

Onto what I’ve been thinking about this week…

When I’m recording Modern Wisdom, I sometimes hear the same trends and themes popping up across several episodes in a short period of time.

Now, I’m the common denominator between these guests, so it’s probably largely due to my own bias/current obsessions.

But one of the most common themes has been about Releasing The Tiller of life and just accepting the results which come your way.

Answer this question…

How different do you think the outcomes you get in life would be if you didn’t worry about them so much?

If you didn’t anxiously obsess, overthink and fear, how different would the results you’re achieving be?

Would you be 30% less effective?

50%?

5%?

I’ve reflected on this a lot and I’ve settled on between 5% and 10%.

Probably closer to 5.

Think about that.

All the concern and worry and strife and thought loops and sleepless nights.

All that distracted consciousness which you will never get back from your brief time on this planet.

All for the sake of 5% better results.

Or to invert the situation; you can get rid of your neurotic fears about not achieving your goals and the price is 5% of your outcomes.

Here’s the thing I’ve come to believe…

The results you get in life are going to come anyway. Your fears and neuroses about them are doing little other than making your journey toward achieving them more miserable.

In this way, life is less like a car drive with you as an active participant, and more like a train journey where you’re heading toward the same destination no matter what you do.

It’s just a case of not stopping yourself from enjoying the scenery en route.

Is this the other side of Jordan Peterson’s “take responsibility” philosophy?

Is it possible to take too much responsibility?

So much that you lose your ability to rely on intuition and have faith that the results will come?

Is there an opposite of a victim mindset where you believe that you have no control over the outcomes you get in life – one where you believe that you have too much control over them which means you lose faith in your innate ability to just get shit done?

Not everything has to be so deliberate.

The outcomes you get in life are probably going to arrive anyway.

At the end of the day – if you live long enough – most people get what they deserve.” — Charlie Munger 

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MODERN WISDOM

I do a podcast which has had 25 million+ downloads. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.


This week’s upcoming episodes:

Monday.
Geoffrey Miller – an evolutionary psychologist’s dating advice. Geoffrey is one of the OGs of applying EvPsych to sexual selection and mating dynamics. Unreal episode.

Thursday.
Michael Easter – how embracing discomfort can change your life. Human psychology, high performance mindset tips & stories about the arctic.

Saturday.
Not sure yet, maybe Chris Sparks on how a professional poker player sees the world of cognitive high performance.


THINGS I’VE LEARNED

1.
One-year breakup rate by how couples met:

Met online: 16%
Met through friends: 10%
Met through family: 9%
Met in a bar/restaurant: 7%
Met in college: 6.5%
Met as coworkers: 6%
Met in primary/secondary school: 5%
Met in church: 1%

h/t Rob Henderson


2.
Productivity Dysmorphia is a thing.

Productivity dysmorphia is the inability to see one’s own success, to acknowledge the volume of your own output.

It sits at the intersection of burnout, imposter syndrome and anxiety.

It is ambition’s alter ego: the pursuit of productivity spurs us to do more while robbing us of the ability to savour any success we might encounter along the way

“I have started thinking of this unhealthy relationship I have with my professional achievements as ‘productivity dysmorphia’.

I have realised that it is an inability to see my own success.

It’s like I’m looking in the mirror of my professional life and I don’t see the published author staring back at me.

All I see is a failure.”

h/t Anna Codrea-Rado


3.
“From afar, we admire talent. Up close, what counts most is character.

You can impress people with your skills, but you earn their trust by standing for something greater than yourself.

There is no higher achievement than treating others kindly and living with integrity.” — Adam Grant


LIFE HACK

Walk around the airport while waiting for your flight.

You’re in the departure lounge waiting for your flight, you can get extra steps in and see if there’s any interesting shops.

You’re about to be sat on a plane wishing you could get up and move comfortably for hours.

Get walking.


Big love,
Chris x

Join the Modern Wisdom Community.

PS
If you’re in San Antonio this week, come say hi.

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