3 Minute Monday
Hi friend,
I just got back from a weekend in San Francisco for Mikhaila Peterson’s wedding.
Seeing my friends be happy makes me feel very good.
There was more than just beef, salt and water served for dinner too which was a pleasant surprise.
I also finally got to meet Rob Henderson in person, we’re thinking of doing a meet-up in Austin next week, maybe Thursday 9th. So if you’re in Austin, keep your eyes peeled and I’ll announce details as soon as I know.
This weekend got me thinking about role models.
I believe that a big part of the reason that certain podcasts, YouTube channels, books and speakers resonate with us is because we resonate with them in a way which we struggle to find in our offline lives.
We have the opportunity to select from some of the most talented, diligent, virtuous people on the planet and then use their insights about life to help improve our own.
That’s beautiful, but also highlights something a little saddening – that a lot of people don’t have many positive role models in their daily lives that they connect with.
I certainly wanted to have positive influences on me as I grew up and sometimes felt disconnected from the people around me.
However, I’ve come to believe that a lack of good role models can also be used as a competitive advantage.
Perhaps there’s not loads people around you who you want to be like.
But there’s probably a bunch of people who you really DON’T want to be like.
This is just as powerful of an influence.
The Reverse Role Model is an inversion of typical inspirational figures.
Instead of directing you toward the sort of behaviour you should model to be happy or successful, these people highlight the sort of behaviour you should avoid.
In life it’s pretty easy to be very successful simply by not making mistakes.
Most people will make a ton of unforced errors, and some errors can outdo all the good work you’ve done.
In this way, avoiding stupidity is actually more important than expediting success.
So yes, maybe you don’t have a ton of good role models around you and it would be great if Jocko Willink was your next door neighbour.
But you can learn as many lessons from the people you don’t want to be like as the people who you do.
Reverse Role Models can be a blessing, albeit an annoying one.
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MODERN WISDOM
I do a podcast which has had 40 million+ downloads. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
This week’s upcoming episodes:
Monday.
Zack Telander – men aren’t having enough sex, Amber Heard needs to start doing weightlifting and fat guys need to be in more underwear commercials.
Thursday.
Tim Kennedy – stories from the life of a guy who’s been a UFC pro, special forces sniper, headteacher of a school and in wars for two decades.
Saturday.
Not sure yet, maybe Tyler Cowen on how to identify and nurture talent.
THINGS I’VE LEARNED
1.
Absentee fathers do what is expected of them.
“Norms were loosened around being an absentee father.
So more men took the option.
But nobody wants to admit it because it upsets people.
Instead, we retreat to discussions of poverty and economics because talking about family and parenting makes people feel weird and judgmental.
But young men will only do what’s expected of them.
And a lot did use to be expected.
There were social norms to work hard, provide, take care of loved ones, and so on.
Today, these norms have largely dissolved.
Young men have responded accordingly.”
— Rob Henderson
2.
Silicon Valley isn’t always the centre.
Of more than 195,000 software companies listed on Crunchbase, less than 15% have taken any external funding, and over 97% are based outside of Silicon Valley.
3.
Basketball players shoot short.
In data from 300 million shots, large deviations from optimal shooting have been found.
The average BA jump shooter, it turns out, is twice as likely to miss a shot too short as opposed to too long.
LIFE HACK
Cheaper Zoom Subscriptions.
If you go “cancel” your Zoom subscription, they’ll offer you 30% off your renewal price.
Takes 30 seconds to do.
h/t Eric Jorgenson
Big love,
Chris x
Join the Modern Wisdom Community.
PS
I’m back to the UK this week for the first time since February. The longest I’ve ever been away. Wild.
