3 Minute Monday
I’ve been thinking about self-worth this week and why it’s so tricky to get right.
We are social creatures.
We are built to care about the opinions of those around us.
Fully dispensing with this impulse is an incredibly difficult task, maybe impossible.
But turning down the volume is crucial.
You must not outsource your sense of self-worth or you will live at the mercy of everyone’s opinion.
Not only that, but you will begin to change how you act to fit the expectations that everyone else has of you.
And sometimes lose who you really are in the process.
The same thing happens with content creators online who find success being a performative version of themselves and are now stuck playing a role…
“They exaggerate the more idiosyncratic facets of their personalities, becoming crude caricatures of themselves.
The caricature quickly becomes the influencer’s distinct brand, and all subsequent attempts by the influencer to remain on-brand and fulfil audience expectations require them to act like the caricature.
As the caricature becomes more familiar than the person, both to the audience and to the influencer, it comes to be regarded by both as the only honest expression of the influencer, so that any deviation from it soon looks and feels inauthentic.
At that point the persona has eclipsed the person, and the audience has captured the influencer.
This is the ultimate trapdoor in the hall of fame; to become a prisoner of one’s own persona.
The desire for recognition in an increasingly atomised world lures us to be who strangers wish us to be.
And with personal development so arduous and lonely, there is ease and comfort in crowdsourcing your identity.
But amid such temptations, it’s worth remembering that when you become who your audience expects at the expense of who you are, the affection you receive is not intended for you but for the character you’re playing, a character you’ll eventually tire of.
And so be warned: being someone often means being fake, and if you chase the approval of others, you may, in the end, lose the approval of yourself.” — Gurwinder Bhogal
Other people’s heads are a wretched place for your self-worth to live.
This week’s upcoming episodes:
Sadia Khan – a British Muslim psychologist’s views on why everyone thinks they have trauma, reasons for the increasing divorce rates, problems with modern dating, Dubai and more.
Mark Normand – why have Dove decided that the fantasy world of video games is unrepresentative? Is “Digital Blackface” actually a thing? How much is a Dylan Mulvaney can of Bud Light on eBay?
Rob Dyrdek – the man who built DC shoes, tracks every minute of his life and has a team to optimise his productivity breaks down his best tips for a good, efficient existence.
THINGS I’VE LEARNED
Culture cannot reprogram biology.
“Women have evolved to prefer sex in the context of emotional closeness, for solid adaptive reasons.
For all these women, a generalised culture of casual sex and emotional impermanence is an ongoing disaster.
No amount of self-commodification, even if it’s framed as “empowerment”, will stop us longing for love.” — Mary Harrington
You have nothing to lose.
“So many lives would transform overnight if they realised ‘My life sucks, I have nothing going for me…’ really means ‘I have nothing to lose.’
And that makes you a very dangerous person.” — Alex Hormozi
The Botulism Business is very lucrative.
The entire global cosmetic Botox industry is supported by an annual production of just a few milligrams of botulism toxin.
Pure toxin would cost ~$100 trillion per kilogram.
MyProtein 80% discount.
It’s Impact Week at MyProtein which means you have a couple of days left to take advantage of the biggest discounts they do.
Up to 80% of everything site-wide and worldwide including Clear Whey.
This is your sign to stock up on supplements.
I’m in Palm Springs speaking at the Human Behaviour and Evolution Society Conference this Saturday. Looking forward to being by FAR the least credentialed person in a room of the world’s best academics.