3 Minute Monday
In case you missed the digital Beacons of Gondor I lit across the internet last week, the David Goggins episode is now live and you absolutely need it in your life.
Huge thank you to everyone who has shared and commented on the episode, the support is insane. I love you all.
In today’s phenomenal episode with Dr Tania Reynolds I learned about the effectiveness of how and why women use sexual gossip.
Research by Marissa Harrison and Susan Hughes looked at sex differences in insulting jabs.
“Most insults targeted at men derogated formidability/status & sexuality/gender.
Most insults targeted at women derogated physical appearance & ascribed promiscuity.”
If ever you wanted to see the underlying sex differences in what men and women think is valued by those around us – there you are.
It’s a precision strike at the headquarters of our status.
Men and women try to damage the most salient, valuable characteristics that their adversary relies on.
Even Greta Thunberg accused Andrew Tate of small dick energy – because a man’s manhood is one of the most important drivers of value he has.
For women, sexual chastity is a very important value to project.
Ancestrally, Men tended to want a partner who had retained as much of her maidenhood as possible.
Therefore women who have a reputation for promiscuity may not be seen as a valid long-term partner option.
Which means she will struggle to find a partner, resources and protection for her and her children.
This makes sexual gossip a very dangerous weapon.
First, it’s basically impossible to disprove because sex is inevitably so private.
And what are you going to do, parade around displaying all the sex you’re not having? That would be ineffective.
Next up, sexual gossip attacks the women who are the greatest dangers to luring men away from other females.
Evidence shows that men are most tempted into infidelity by sexually seductive and sexually open women, which are precisely the sort of ones who are damaged most by these rumours because “it makes sense” given how those women present.
Sexual gossip also broadcasts the gossiper’s purity by condemning the actions of this other woman.
Your own chastity implicitly stands on the shoulders of the target you’re derogating.
And finally you can veil it all under the guise of “venting”.
This is a special type of gossip which allows you to tell a revealing or damaging story about another person whilst not seemingly like a shameless Machiavellian manipulator by using exasperation or concern as a guise.
Venting: “I’m really worried about Mary, I know she’s going through a hard time at the moment but she keeps blowing me off to spend a lot of time with different guys and I’m just really worried she’s going to get hurt.”
Mask-off-message: “Mary is a whore and my intrasexual competition is worried she might take a potential partner away from me, don’t go near her, I am pure in comparison.”
Frankly, every day that I learn about the complex interplayed dance of female friendships, the more and more glad I become that I have a penis.
You should listen to today’s episode with Dr Tania Reynolds, it’s great.
This week’s upcoming episodes:
Dr Tania Reynolds – why are women always seen as victims, how does female intrasexual competition show up in mating, why do men and women have opposite-sex-friends and more.
Neil deGrasse Tyson – the world’s most famous astrophysicist explains what would happen if the moon disappeared, whether aliens are out there and why bacteria are really in control of your body.
Edward Slingerland – a fun historical assessment of how alcohol helped humans trust, bond, civilise and survive in the past, and a breakdown of what its role should be in the modern world.
THINGS I’VE LEARNED
There is a 97%-effective formula to not be poor.
“If you live in a developed country, studies indicate that there is a highly effective formula for avoiding poverty:
1. Finish high school.
2. Get a full-time job once you finish school.
3. Get married before you have children.
This has come to be known as “the success sequence.”
97% of people who follow these steps do not live in poverty.
In contrast, 76% percent of those that did not adhere to any of these norms were poor.” — Rob Henderson
Do you want to be known for your work or your drama?
“Advice I got early in my career: Don’t over-engage in any controversy unless you are willing to stake your entire reputation on it.
Rather, keep focused on discovering new things & creating, or else you become known for the controversy & nothing else; there is no going back.” — Dr Andrew Huberman
What to remember when business is hard.
“A reminder for the gladiators in the arena who feel beat up and scarred with no hope in sight…
Building a business is hard.
“Hard” feels shitty.
This is what hard feels like.
And this is why most people can’t do it.
But you can.” — Alex Hormozi
PayPal money requests.
Stop sending people your PayPal email address and asking them to pay you, then them forgetting to do it and you forgetting how much they owed you after a few days.
There is a request feature on PayPal mobile and desktop, just send them that and the text they receive has a one-click payment link.
For more serious payments, the desktop website has an invoicing section where you can even set reminders if the invoice is unpaid after a given amount of time.
I’ve been jet setting this weekend to Oregon, Sacramento and I’m currently in LA, then tomorrow I go to San Jose and I’m back to Austin on Wednesday.