3 Minute Monday – Barbie, Anxiety & Saviours

Hi friend,

The brand new, 3+ hour Alex Hormozi episode is now live, this is a special one.

Go listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

I came across a phenomenal post by Steve Stewart-Williams…

“The Barbie movie has been back in the news as one of the most nominated films in this year’s Golden Globes.

I enjoyed the movie a lot, but watching it as a psychologist was a little like watching the average sci-fi movie as a physicist: It was hard not to get distracted by errors in the worldview implicit in some of the dialogue.

One example that particularly jumped out at me was when Ariana Greenblatt’s character Sasha stated, matter-of-factly, that “Women hate women. And men hate women. It’s the only thing we all agree on.”

If true, this would be a serious social problem, not to mention a major downer.

The good news, then, is that as far as psychological science is concerned, it’s not true.

No doubt, some men and women have a generalized disdain for the fairer sex.

But the vast majority don’t. In fact, both sexes tend to like the average Barbie more than the average Ken.

This phenomenon is known as the women-are-wonderful effect, and it’s one of the best-replicated findings in social psychology.

As it happens, my colleagues and I replicated it recently in a paper looking at people’s reactions to research on sex differences.

The key finding is that both sexes have a more favorable view of women than men: the standard women-are-wonderful effect.

A few other bits and pieces:

– Men like women as much as women like women.

– Women like men less than men like men.

– The women-are-wonderful effect is larger for women than men, not because women like other women more than men do, but rather because they like men less.

– “Liking men less” doesn’t mean “disliking men.” The average man and the average woman have positive feelings toward both sexes; they just have more positive feelings toward women.

– We can’t project the average score onto every member of the group. Although the average person likes women more than men, some individuals like both sexes equally, and some like men more than women: a men-are-wonderful effect. Moreover, although the average person has positive feelings about both sexes, some individuals dislike women, others dislike men – and still others are devoid of gender bias, disliking both sexes equally.

One last thought: As the father of a daughter, I can’t help worrying about the possibly harmful mental-health effects of telling girls and women that everyone hates them – and more generally, of telling them that the world is a terrible place for women.

Of course, one line in one movie won’t have any meaningful effect.

But the constant drip-drip-drip of such messages might. Needless to say, if such messages were true, we’d have to talk about it and try to remedy it, even if doing so were somewhat depressing.

As we’re just seen, though, they’re not always true.

And given their potential for harm, perhaps we should be more circumspect about spreading these negative memes without looking at the evidence first.

As an added bonus, in doing so, we might also make it easier for psychologists to watch blockbuster movies without mentally rewriting half the script!”

We’re seeing a huge decline in female mental health, especially among teenage girls.

The CDC found that nearly 3 in 5 teen girls (57%) said they felt “persistently sad or hopeless.”

That’s the highest rate in a decade.

And 30% said they have seriously considered dying by suicide — a percentage that’s risen by nearly 60% over the past 10 years.

Could this be contributed to, at least in-part, by believing that the entire world is against their sex when it isn’t?

We’re also seeing more men than ever feel like their issues aren’t being heard and there is no room for sympathy for their issues.

This makes sense if the pervasive narrative is that women are hated by everyone, why indeed SHOULD men have their issues heard when women are being persecuted just for being women?

Meanwhile the American Psychological Association stated that “Traditional masculinity is harmful.”

Half of American men and almost a third of women (30%) now think that society “punishes men just for acting like men,” according to a survey by the Public Religion Research Institute.

And “many young men feel their difficulties are often dismissed out of hand as whining from a patriarchy that they don’t feel a part of.” — Christine Emba

Toxic Compassion hurts everyone by making a mirage out of a molehill.

MODERN WISDOM

I do a podcast which has had 450 million+ downloads. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

This week’s upcoming episodes:

Monday.
Alex Hormozi – another 3 hour monster episode with one of my favourite guests. Insights around resilience, perfectionism, anxiety, motivation, wealth, family and more.

Thursday.
Dr Robert Glover – one of the most important episodes I’ve done with a phenomenal author and therapist. How do men become “nice guys” and how does it destroy their self-worth and relationships? A must listen for everyone.

Saturday.
Nomad Capitalist – how can you travel the world and pay no tax? Not with as much difficulty as you might think. Here’s the playbook. Super interesting.

THINGS I’VE LEARNED

1.
You’re not anxious, you care.

“Control freak is a word people with low standards use to describe people with high standards.

You’re not a control freak.

You just want it done right – the first time.

Don’t expect mediocre people to support world class goals.” — Alex Hormozi

2.
Busy calendars try to fix hollow hearts.

“Frantic days are really just a hedge against emptiness.” — Tim Kreider

3.
White saviours are not needed.

In a study on microaggressions, white college graduates were significantly more likely than black or Hispanic respondents to say that statements such as “America is the land of opportunity” and “Everyone can succeed in this society if they work hard enough” are offensive. — h/t Rob Henderson

LIFE HACK

Don’t rub your fragrance on your skin.

The delicate high notes in fragrances are fragile and heat can break them down.

If you spray a fragrance on your wrists, tap them together to spread it rather than rubbing them against each other.

Big love,
Chris x

Try my productivity drink Neutonic.
Share this article with your friends here.

PS
Steve Stewart-Williams is one of my favourite authors and you can check out more of his writing here.

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